WHY NOT CALL ON THE MEDIATOR.

Sometimes the day BREAK, May bring you HEARTBREAK;

The sound of the coming RAIN, May bring you great PAIN;

You see no REASON To take delight in SEASONS,.

Your sleep in the NIGHT, May be full of FRIGHT;

It may seem there is no PLACE, To go for SOLACE;

It may be like nobody really CARES, And you are always close to TEARS;

Why not call on the MEDIATOR Who sits at the right-hand of the CREATOR.

Invite Him into your SITUATION, He will carry out His OPERATION,

And put your trouble in DETENTION, Giving your life a new DIMENSION.

The Evils of The Contemporary Young Christians

This is a clarion call to all youths and young Christians. God is no respecter of anybody. The evils highlighted here are rampant among young christians. God is looking for young men and women that He can use for a glorious purpose.

1. They are always right and will never accept corrections..Somebody who corrects them is seen as an enemy.

2. They love to sing in church, but do not read their Bibles at home.

3. They are full of lust, sensuality and emotions and they call it love.

4. They want to have wonderful marriages, but by the time they are 25 years they've spent almost ten years in relationships already. Sometimes they may have had more boy lovers and girl lovers than even their parents.

5. Sexual activities are now part of their relationships calling it romance.

6. They want to be rich in life, meanwhile they spend all their finances on the latest ipads, iphones, galaxy tablets and other brands of tablets, htcs, laptops, cameras etc, which in many cases they use less than 30% of their functions.

7. They do not pay their tithes and offerings claiming they are students.

8. They say "we are christian women" but dress worldly like Hollywood stars and they call it fashion.

9. They love pleasures rather than God.

10. In church you will see them with their hands lifted up singing slow songs which they call worship but on their phones in their pockets, you will see pics of naked and half naked women, hip hop, hip life and they have a nice way of justifying it.

11. They are hardly convicted when they go to church because their hearts have been hardened by the deceitfulness of sin and pride...etc etc.

But God had foreseen this and warned in 2Timothy 3:1-5a "...That in the last days there will come difficulty times, men and women will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors,headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power..."

We need to change our ways, we have no excuse on judgement day, Repent.

Dare to be a Joseph, a Samuel or a Daniel in this generation. And God will declare His glory and He did in the lives of the people mentioned.

Shalom!

U can share if u want to. But I know u wouldn't because is not funny.

COPING WITH JOB BURNOUT

The most reliable and efficacious way of dealing with job burnout is to refrain from doing that job and opt for something else which may entail “changing jobs or careers.” Perchance, that is not the way out for you, there are still things you can do to improve your situation, or at least your state of mind.

- Actively Manage or Handle Challenges: Take a pragmatic rather than passive inactive steps to issues in your workplace, including stress at work. You’ll feel less helpless if you assert yourself and express your needs. If you don’t have the authority or resources to offer solution to the challenge at hand, engage your superior in a discussion over the issue.

- Clarify Your Job Definition: Request from your boss for an updated description of your job duties and responsibilities. Mark out the duties that are beyond your job parameter and bring it to the notice of the management and gain a little leverage for the overwork.

- Request For New/Fresh Responsibilities: If your job has been monotonous for a long time, request for something new; a different grade level, a new sales area, a different equipment.

- Take Time Off: If burnout seems inevitable, take a complete break from work. Go on vacation, use up your sick days, ask for a temporary leave-of-absence – anything to take you out from the scenario. Utilize the time away judiciously to recharge your batteries and take perspective.

RECOVERY FROM BURNOUT: Acknowledge your losses

Burnout brings with it many losses, which can often go unrecognized. Unrecognized losses trap a lot of your energy. It takes a tremendous amount of emotional control to keep yourself from feeling the pain of these losses. When you recognize these losses and allow yourself to grieve them, you release that trapped energy and open yourself to healing.

These may include:

 Idealism or dream with which you enter your career.

 The role or identity that originally came with your job.

 Physical and emotional energy.

 Friends, fun and sense of control.

 Joy, meaning and purpose that make work and life worthwhile

Source: Keeping the Fire by Ruth Luban.

3 Steps To Bouncing Back From Burnout

Sometimes, you may have gone too far and it may now be too late to avoid burnout. Then you have to be up and doing about it. If you continue with the same pace and tempo, it may result in fatal deterioration of both your health and emotions. While the above tips can be of help, a more serious steps need to be taken.

STEP ONE – REDUCE YOUR TEMPO

If you have peaked out on burnout, attitude adjustment is out of the question and neither is take of your health the solution. You need to slow down, take a break. Reduce your responsibilities and activities that you can. Give yourself the luxury of time to rest, reflect and get whole.

STEP TWO – BE RE-ENFORCED

The normal inclination is to try and preserve the remaining strength during burnout session by keeping alone. A friend in need is a friend indeed, your friends, buddies and family are important in times of trials. Turn to your loved ones in times of trials like this for their support. Problem shared, they say, is half solved. Just expressing your feelings with another person can bring some tremendous respite. That won’t turn you into a burden. All they have to do is just give a listening ear.one thing is, some of them will be so happy that you can confide in them.it will boost your relationship.

STEP THREE – RE-DEFINE YOUR GOALS AND RE-PRIORITIZE YOUR PRIORITIES

Take time to reflect about your goals, dreams and hopes. Burnout is just a sign that cannot be overlooked that something is just not right, not working in your life. Are ignoring or disregarding something that is truly essential to you? Burnout can be a blessing in disguise to rediscover what really makes you happy and help redirect the pattern of your life in the same vein.

BURNOUT TANGO PART 3: 11 PREVENTION TIPS

As soon as you sense the signals of burnout tango, do yourself a favour, do not ignore it and hopefully think it will disappear. Try to put your life into perspective. You can stall burnout before it becomes a tango.

Here are some tips for you:

1. Take a dose of spiritual pills every day. Though many do ignore their spiritual life, it eventually pays to develop it. Seek the Lord your God every blessed morning. Don’t just jump out of bed as soon as you wake up. Develop an intimate relationship with your Creator.

o Pray.

o Read the Bible.

o Meditate on the Word of God.

o Spend at least 15 to 30 minutes for this. You can spend more time than that but start anyway; get the key of and for the day from Him who knows the day.

The Bible has this to say; “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep…seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!...the young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” (Psa. 127:2; 105:4; 34:10 ESV)

2. Embrace healthy eating habit – eat right.

3. Embrace healthy sleeping habit – sleep right.

4. Exercise – 20 to 30 minutes workout every day is good. It keeps the body in shape, the heart in good condition. This will give you the strength to handle the demands and hassles of life.

5. Learn to say NO – whenever you discover that your “me” time is been encroached upon, have the gut to say no. you cannot satisfy everybody.

6. Set a very clear boundary between work and personal life – don’t jeopardize your home for work and vice versa.

7. Declare your freedom from technology – put away that laptop, switch off that phone, delay the checking of that email, postpone that tweet and update for another time, leave that update on Facebook for now. Set a time of complete detachment from those gadgets for each day.

8. Develop your creative side – creativity is a powerful antidote to burnout. Try something new, different from the work you do. Your favourite hobby for instance.

9. Socialize – meet with people; develop a good relationship with others. Have close rapport with your family.

10. Go for seminars, conferences, workshops, symposiums or continuing education activities. Learn that new skill.

11. You’re overdue for your annual leave, go for it. Use the leave break to re-energize yourself.

BURNOUT TANGO PART 2: SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

The signs and symptoms of burnout I will describe or classify under four headings. They are spiritual, emotional, physical and psychological or behavioural signs.

 SPIRITUAL SIGNS.

o Spiritual dryness.

o Luke warmness towards/avoidance of Bible reading.

o Skipping of quiet time.

o Prayerlessness or epileptic prayer life.

o Sometimes staying away from fellowships and services.

 EMOTIONAL SIGNS.

o Self-pity.

o Absence of motivation.

o Loss of momentum.

o Self-doubt.

o Diminished contentment.

o Aloofness, feeling of loneliness.

o Feeling of defeat and helplessness.

o Cynical misanthropic pessimistic.

 PHYSICAL SIGNS.

o Signs of sickness frequently e.g headache, back pain, colds, muscle pain, stomach problems and so on.

o Feeling of tiredness.

o Diminished immunity.

o Exhaustion and fatigue often.

o Alteration in eating and sleeping pattern.

 BEHAVIOURAL SIGNS.

o Addiction and Substance abuse e.g food, drugs, alcohol, etc.

o Social isolation.

o Procrastination.

o Aggression.

o Late home coming.

o Skipping work.

CAUSES OF BURNOUT.

Workload is the major culprit behind burnout. However, job related overload is not the sole cause. There are other causes; personality traits, mode of living and technology are other factors that can contribute to it. Technology now keeps some in constant contact with their job, blurring the line between work and private life.

 WORK RELATED FACTOR.

o Feeling of loss of or little autonomy.

o Undervalue and lack of acknowledgment.

o Ambiguous work role.

o Lack of promotion.

o Poor leadership.

o Schism, disharmony and working in a chaotic environment.

o Reduced career advancement opportunities.

 PERSONALITY TRAITS FACTOR.

o Cynical mind-set of oneself and worldview.

o Inability to delegate responsibilities to others.

o Disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.

o Type A personality, high-achieving.

 MODE OF LIVING FACTOR.

o Workaholic with no time for relaxation and social activities.

o Inability to say no.

o Having limited, not enough sleep.

o Lack of close, helpful, supportive relationship.

o Trying to satisfy too many people.

 TECHNOLOGY FACTOR.

o Information technology

o Computer/Laptop.

o Ipad and Tablets.

o Social Media – Facebook, Twitter, etc.

BURNOUT TANGO PART 1

In this write up and in some of the post that will follow, I will be dealing with burnout and stress. Many do confuse burnout with stress but they are actually different from each other thought somewhat related.

Let me ask you some pertinent questions before going further –

- Are you feeling disappointed or dissatisfied with yourself and your work that it is not all that good as it has seemed disillusioned?

- Is there a feeling of helplessness around you?

- Are you frustrated?

- Are you always chronically feeling exhausted?

- And there is this feeling of powerlessness around you?

If you can answer yes to all or most of these questions, there is the tendency that you are burning out or on the way to burnout. Constant feeling of disillusionment, helplessness, sapped out completely may be pointer to burnout. Challenges looked invincible or unbeatable; everything looks lugubrious, gloomy and morbid. The motivational desire to harness your strength to do something will be gone. The moodiness, melancholic aloofness caused by burnout can cause you your work, relationship, happiness, joy and your health. The good news however, is that healing is available for it.

WHAT IS BURNOUT?

Merriam-Webster defined burnout in two ways:

1. To drive out or destroy the property of, by fire.

2. To cause to fail, wear out, or become exhausted especially from overwork or overuse.

These two definitions apply to what we are discussing here. Burnout is when you drive out, destroy that spark in you, when the energy that spurs you on is drained and you always become tired easily – man, you are on the way to burnout square. It also means to overwork or even overuse oneself to the point of becoming exhausted, worn out, and one begins to fail. Merriam-Webster has this boatload of synonyms to describe it. Included are; break, exhaust, burst, do in, do up, drain, fag, fatigue, frazzle, harass, kill, knock out, out-wear, tire, tucker (out), wash out, wear, wear out, weary.

Quite a list!

It is the term used to explain the physical, mental, emotional exhaustion induced by protracted and inordinate work or study related stress. Burnout can effects serious damage to the spiritual, psychological, emotional and physical make up of people. It eats up the energy, rendering one to become unproductive and ineffective. At the end, you may feel useless, having nothing more to give.

HOW TO DEAL WITH BURNOUT Part 2

If you are experiencing workplace burnout, how can you recover?

Granted, change may seem impossible if you feel trapped in circumstances beyond your control. Nevertheless, consider the following four steps for dealing with burnout. You may have more options than you realize.

1. EVALUATE YOUR PRIORITIES. What is most important to you? Many people would likely put family relationships and good health near the top of their list. These are things that are likely to suffer if you are burnout. By clarifying your priorities, you prepare yourself to make difficult decisions and accept trade-offs. For example, you may see that your work is leading to burnout. Yet you may reason, ‘I cannot change jobs or work less; I need income!’ True, everyone needs income, but how much and at what cost to the things you value most? Beware of pressure to adopt the priorities of others around you as your own. Your employer’s priorities and yours are likely different. Others may choose to put work first in their life, but this does not mean that you must do the same.

2. SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE. To reduce stress and gain time for what you truly value, you may consider working fewer hours, you may be able to persuade your employer to reduce your current job demands, or you may determine that you need to change jobs. Whatever you decide to do, you will likely need to adjust your financial situation and make changes in your lifestyle. But this is not impossible and may not be as hard as you might think. In many lands, a consumer-oriented society sends the message that happiness is linked to income level and possessions. But in reality, it is not. A simpler lifestyle can bring greater freedom and satisfaction. To prepare for such a change, reduce expenses and save money. Try to lower or eliminate debt. Discuss the need for change with your family members, and seek their support.

3. LEARN WHEN TO SAY NO TO WORK. If you face an unrealistic workload or some other persistent problem in your workplace, discuss your situation with your employer. Whenever possible, offer solutions that meet both your needs and those of your employer. Reassure your employer of your commitment to your work, and explain what you are willing to do; but be clear and firm about you not able to do. Use foresight and be realistic. If you want to work less, your employer may expect you to accept less compensation. Anticipate risks such as the threat of job loss, and be prepared to respond. Remember that your prospects for finding a different job are better while you are still employed. Even when you have reached a mutual agreeable work arrangement with your employer, you can expect to be pressured again to take on more work. What can help you remain firm? Keeping to the commandments you have made. Doing so might give you leverage to ask your employer to do the same in return, including keeping your workload within the agreed limits.

4. RENEW YOURSELF. Even when your work is free of major problems, you may still have your share of stresses, difficult people, and unpleasant situations. So make time for sufficient rest and balanced recreation. Remember that recreation does not have to be expensive to be refreshing to you and your family. Cultivate interests and friendship apart from your work, and avoid defining yourself by the type and amount of work that you do. Why? The Book Your Money or Your Life observes: “Who you are is far greater than what you do for money.” If your identity and self-worth come primarily from your work, then you will find it difficult to minimize the role that work plays in your life.

Can you really make changes needed to deal successfully with burnout? Yes, you can.

Anil, mentioned at the beginning of this article, did so. He says: “I contracted my former employer and asked if he would take me back, and he did. I was embarrassed to face my former co-workers after I had talked about moving on to ‘greener pastures.’ And I took a significant cut in pay. But I gained peace of mind, and I had more time for my family and other things that I truly value.”

(Culled from AWAKE! September 2014, Vol. 95, No. 9)

HOW TO DEAL WITH BURNOUT Part 1

Anil was beyond exhausted. He had taken on a new job because it promised greater prestige and more income. But now he was working late nights as well as weekends, sometimes up to 80 hours a week. “The work environment was chaotic,” he states, “and all the responsibility fell on me. I said to myself: ‘what have I done? If I don’t make a change, I’m dead.’” Anil was rapidly burning out.

Workplace burnout is more than mere tiredness, and it goes beyond the ordinary stress of everyday work. Burnout is characterized by chronic exhaustion and strong feelings of frustration and powerlessness. Those suffering from burnout tend to withdraw emotionally from their work, lose motivation, and become less productive. Studies also link burnout to numerous emotional and physical health problems.

What Causes Burnout?

Work overload is often a factor. Because of economic pressures, some employers demand that employees work longer hours, at times for less money. Technology now keeps some in constant contact with job, blurring the lines between work and private life. For some, job insecurity, lack of control over their work, or feelings of being treated unfairly contribute to burnout. So does dealing with unclear priorities or conflicts with co-workers.

Burnout can also be self-inflicted. In the pursuit of career goals and greater income, some try to fit ever more work into their life. Such ones may become over-committed and find themselves on the road to burnout.

(Culled from AWAKE! September 2014, Vol. 95, No. 9)

God Cares For You.

This video says it all.

Come back to God. He loves You.

Take Now And Pay Later

"And said unto Him, 'All these things will I give thee if thou will fall down and worship me."

Jesus could have had it all. He could have had all the world's kingdom instantly. There was only one small catch; He would have to bow down and worship Satan. The act itself would certainly not have been a major one. The bowing of the knee could have been done briefly, and it would have been over in a few moments. But the future of salvation was at stake when Satan voiced this final temptation.

Satan actually was making a fierce, last-ditch attempt to keep Jesus from going to the cross, to tempt Jesus to take a shortcut to glory. That is why Jesus refused. He knew that this world could not be saved without suffering. He also knew that God alone deserves our worship.

Ever since that day, Satan has been trying to get Jesus' followers to take the road of least resistance. Every single day, Satan holds before us glamour and glitters of toy and treasures, and he whispers in our hears that these things are ours for the taking.

"Take now and pay later"

is one of these favourite slogans.

Jesus' response to Satan is our incentive to resist and to remember that there is no shortcut. But most important, every day, we need to remember Jesus' words - "worship the Lord your God and serve Him only"

We cannot worship both God and Satan

With God, it is ALL or NOTHING

Shalom!

The Little Guy And God

"Man look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the Heart" 1 Samuel 16:7

Do you ever feel as if you're not important? Consider what happened to David. Gold told Samuel to go to Bethlehem to anoint a new king over Israel. Samuel was led to Jesse's house, and Jesse presented his seven oldest sons thinking one of them was the one chosen by God to be the next king. One by one they passed before Samuel, but God chose none of them, telling Samuel

"Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart".

Samuel asked Jesse,

"Are these all the sons you have?"

Almost as an after thought, Jesse said,

"There is still the youngest but he is tending the sheep".

David was the youngest, the least, and he was doing servant's work.

Jesse hadn't even thought of him or bothered to call him in before Samuel. Jesse didn't think David will become king, but he was God's chosen one.

David had a heart for God, and God wanted him to serve as king of Israel. God doesn't look at outward appearance. God knows what is in our hearts. Even when no one else may know or appreciate who we are and how we feel, God cares and God knows.

You are important to God. Never look down on yourself. You may not be recognized, appreciated or even noticed, God recognized you, He appreciates you. You're noticed by Him. Hold unto Him and He'll make His will known and fulfilled in your life.

Out in the field tending sheep, David learned to trust in God. Away from the noise of the world, David could hear God's still small voice. Unnoticed by anyone else, David was being prepared for a special service to God.

Just trust in God.Cultivate an intimacy with Him, learned to fellowship with Him. Do not lose heart. You may in that position because you're on the way to the throne. Rest in God and He will lift you up in due season.

Shalom!

God Is Trustworthy Absolutely

"Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; for He is faithful that promised". Hebrews 10:23

A young paratrooper admitted that he had been frightened the first time he jumped. There was nothing but a big piece of fabric between him and death. What if the fabric accidentally tore apart? What if his ripcord did not work and the parachute failed to open?

But when he jumped, everything functioned perfectly. Supported by that life preserving umbrella over his head, the man floated earthward. He said, "I had a release from fear and a marvelous feeling of exhilaration".

What about the promises God made in the Bible? Will they uphold us in times of crises? It all depends on whether we believe them to be God's promises and not merely printed words, black mark on a white paper, not simply the guesses of fallible human being like ourselves. But they are the promises of God, we can cling to them with assurance.

This will bring relief from fear and impart deep inner peace. Throughout the ages, our God has been trusted millions times and He has never been proved untrustworthy. So, let us trust Him today and add our personal testimony to that of the countless host of fellow believers who have found out that the promise-keeping God is unfailingly faithful.

Shalom!

Building a Good Relationship by Richard Krejcir

Building a Good Relationship.

How to Look for the Love of a Lifetime Part IV!

This is part four, the last article in a series to challenge single Christians to seek Biblical principles in love and dating. In this final part, we will look at how to build a lasting and godly relationship. Although this is geared to singles, the principles will be for all Christians whether they are single, married, looking, not looking, and all the rest who are dazed and confused.

In building a genuine God centered relationship, you must be genuine, and focused. If you truly desire to follow God’s precepts, and not those of society, you must be willing and able to cast off the “games” that people play in relationships. There must be no hiding behind made up masks, and false identities. Get rid of the fixation on pleasure, and the viewpoints from glamour magazines and TV shows. You must seek Biblical precepts; rather than how you feel or are told by friends. This means a Christian relationship will be built on and with honesty, and communication, in order to be real and authentic. These translate into genuine relationships that are flowing from a life that has been transformed by grace, and renewed by Christ, as Lord of your life.

In order to accomplish this task, you must seek to know yourself and the other person. If you are not honest about yourself, how can you expect to have a good relationship? The same applies to seeking honestly from the person you are courting. You have to be honest about who you are, that is, knowing your personality, aspirations, and desires, and working on your relationship with Christ. You also have to be honest about what you plan to do and be in life. Then, you can seek that in others, and honestly assess how you feel about them and about what they do and say. The way to do this is to have open, honest communication, be willing and able to ask the tough question of yourself and your date. The hiding is then eliminated, and a real relationship is built! Open communication is a vital foundation for every marriage, necessary in order to understand and help each other. Without it, you cannot see what is truly motivating the other or what their ideas and intentions are. When you have differing points of view--and you will--be willing to talk and listen. Simply by listening, 99.9% of the problems will be resolved. When you have this settled before marriage, you will be light-years ahead of the game. If you are already married, then you can use these principles to figure out what you need to work on in yourself, as well as in your relationship with God and others.

We can be honest even in our Western dating culture. Yes, most people-- Christians included--tend to stick to the shallow end of the communication pool. We spend time asking about favorite movies, hobbies, whether and such, so the most important questions, such as our struggles, vulnerabilities, and insecurities, are not addressed.

Once you are honest, then you can explore love. If you do not take care of honesty, your love will not be honest. You will be in love with an idea and not a person. You will be building a false relationship, not a real one!

We will not be perfect, as we will make mistakes, but we have the grace of God who makes up for our shortfalls. So, let God work in you. Be honest with Christ as your Lord, and be willing to learn, giving Him your fears and insecurities. Be willing to improve yourself before seeking a relationship. You cannot expect others to change and grow if you do not. If you are not willing to improve the ‘you’ before trying to get who is right for you or to improve your spouse, you will just cause upheaval and disorder in your self and the person you are with! You are not to seek someone to fill a hole that they cannot fill. Be accountable to and ask questions of someone who will always listen to you. By doing these precepts from the Word, you will better prepare yourself for God’s best, which is in your best interest, too!

Oh, by the way, do not even think, consider, or attempt to do missionary dating (date someone who does not share the same faith and theology as you). After over 20 years of being a pastor to singles, I have never seen this work. I have never heard of this working! It only leads to distress and strife, especially when children come in to the picture!

Here are two essential attitudes to have if you are serious about following God’s precepts in relationships:

1. An attitude of Fellowship: Fellowship, (koinonia) is the Christian catchphrase for getting together. Perhaps it is overused and underused. We overuse it to describe anything from hanging out to having communion, then we under use it by not taking the reality and depth of its meaning to heart! Biblical fellowship is a partnership of relationships and resources that contains good communication, cooperation, and mutual beneficiation. The powerful Holy Spirit is our true partner in the Church. This is true because of what Christ has done for us.

2. An attitude of real Intimacy: The Church has taught for centuries that sex was for procreation only and there are still Christian groups proclaiming this. However, this is not what the Bible teaches. Sex was created by God to populate (Genesis 1:28), to expresses unity (Genesis 2:24), to know your mate (Genesis 4:1), to express love (Genesis 24:67), to meet each other’s needs (Genesis 24:67; Deuteronomy 24:5; 1 Peter 3:7), to play (Proverbs 5:19; Song of S. 2:8-17; 4:1-16; Ecclesiastes 9:9), and to prevent sin (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Intimacy also includes our being available to our spouse (1 Corinthians 7:3-5), and showing him or her our undivided interest as an expression of love (Song 4:16; 5:2).

How do you know if you are “In Love?”

According to the world’s standards, and that of many Christians, being attracted to another is our first consideration in dating or courting. However, is this right or Biblical? No! Yet, we often judge another person by our attraction to them or their attraction to us before we venture into a relationship. However, remember Prov 31: 30. Good looks, magnetism, beauty, being pretty, even charm, are vain, ineffective in building a relationship, and are not lasting. Love finds its roots in the deeper end of the pool where maturity in our relationship with Christ dwells, where He is Lord and from where our trust and the model of all of our relations originate.

Now, I am not saying to only court people who you do not like or to whom you are not attracted. That would not work well either! What we need to do is not let attraction be the only locomotive moving the train of the relationship, the only engine driving how we pick and chose with whom we want to be. Because that will not work out, look for real beauty, and the character within. If you find someone you like, and to whom you are attracted, make sure other qualities are there also. Keep in mind that there may be someone you may not have thought of, who may be right for you! I am always amazed in single groups in church how so many of them do not even look at each other as their ideal mate because desire is blinding their search. Thus, the only thing fueling their search is vanity, and the perfect one may be sitting right next to them! So, look up, and look around beyond your limited set of parameters!

Love begins, real love, that is, when you have a firm grasp on what we have talked about so far. It happens when the presumptions and games are out of the way, when open communication is happening, and when both of you are growing in the faith. If you are meant for one another, then love will come. Love cannot be forced, manipulated, conjured up, or pretended to be real. You can try to force love for a while, but it would be like teaching a dog to walk on its two hind legs. It will be able to do it for a little while, but not very long, and not very well! You have to let Love happen as stipulated in 1 Corinthians 13.

What does it mean to love someone? How do I know if I am “in love?” How do I really know if my potential mate loves me? It has often been said in Christian circles that "love is a choice," but what kind of choice is it? When do we make that choice, and what if it is the wrong choice?

One of the first signs of love is seen when you desire what is best for the other person. You begin to have their best interests in mind, with passion and/or conviction along side, when their feelings and needs are of greater importance to you than your own. When you read 1 Corinthians 13 and see your mate and yourself in those words, then you may have real authentic love. What love is not is when you place your needs and plans over theirs, and you project what you think their needs are or should be. When you become the one who chooses what the other wants, then you are on the path of self-gratification and manipulation, and not love.

There are times where you cannot meet all of the needs of another, nor should you. That has to be based on Biblical values and precepts. That other person you love, or think you love, needs to be discipled and growing in the right direction, as do you. They may need correction, you may need correction, they may need to change, and you may need to change. Therefore, a balance has to occur between fulfilling their needs, and fulfilling the right needs. Nevertheless, the bottom line, the litmus test is, that you desire to put them before yourself. You are not being selfish or manipulative or have hidden agendas, and neither do they. Of course, there will be times we want to control or change them, but we have to be willing to repeal those selfish desires in our heart in favor of their desires.

A Biblical relationship, one between God and us, and one with another, will take the focus off you and put it on what can be empowered and/or invested in the other person. With God, our surrender of our will goes along side that too (John 14-15; Gal. 2:20-21; Phil, 3:10). Therefore, you have to discern where the line is between our obligation of real friendship, and love. In addition, that can be different for each person. The main factor in determining where that line is will be the degree of excitement, passion, and desire. The emotional factor should not be there in such force in a fellowship-based friendship.

With courtship, you are seeking to keep in your mind and heart, the best interests of not only the person you are going out with, but also your future spouse. You need to do this because you are preparing yourself for the real love of your life, and if this one is not it, you can ruin yourself and that person you are out with, as well as your future spouse. This multiplies further, when you consider the future spouse of the person whom you are dating. Therefore, one person’s sin/mistake will affect scores of people. That is why God hates sexual promiscuity. It negatively effects and destroys not only you, but many others too! Keeping the other person’s best interests at heart will result in saving your sexual and emotional purity for your true love.

One of the main objections to courtship is people feel when you do not have sex or a lot of physical contact with each other you will not develop intimacy or even an attraction to each another. Then when you do get married, you will find out there are no sexual or romantic feelings one for the other. Thus, you will never develop true love for your spouse. This thought is completely ridiculous! I know this from my personal experience in courting my wife, studying dating history, my 20 years of counseling singles, and of course, the Word.

The main reason that engaging in several romances is dangerous, as I said before in the other three articles, is that it will develop a lot of emotional baggage. Those people will stay in your thoughts and rob you of your emotional commitment to your spouse. I am not saying you are to have no romance before marriage. On the contrary, getting to know your spouse to be is romance. Romance does not mean sex outside of the marriage bed. Sex does not build romance, commitment, trust, or knowledge of, or for, each another. It only satisfies the sin of lust, and blocks the building of real intimacy and genuine romance. The physical can get in the way of real heartfelt romance, because it clouds the issues in the building of a relationship. I have never heard of anyone who, after courting and marriage, had a problem with sex, unless there were physical problems or past abuse issues. God has wired you to engage in sex without any problems in doing so. The problem is that our sinful nature has heightened and corrupted it. To build a good relationship, you should consider all the aspects of building that relationship before you consider romance, as in physical touch.

Also, be willing to draw a line beyond which you both agree not to cross in your touching each other. This will prevent your lust from getting the best of you. The best defense is a good offence, plan, and agreement. So, draw the line, agree together, and commit to it concerning how far you will go physically. Keep Biblical values in mind! For some, it will be not going beyond kissing until you are engaged. For others, it will be never going past the bikini/swim suit areas (conservative swim suit--not a thong!)!

If, after working through all the relational building process, and making a commitment to each other leading to marriage, no attraction or romance develops, then you need to consider carefully that perhaps this relationship is not meant to be. If this is the case, you will be hurt, but also consider this you will be saved from a lifetime of being with the wrong person, which would cause each of you and others around you grief and strife! So, praise God and move on. The Biblical process has saved you! Keep the friendship alive. Remember that any effort made in building relationships is never a waste of time in God’s eyes, unless it is hurtful or damaging.

Another thing to consider is that romance and attraction build over time. Most Christian counselors, as well as surveys, have shown that with older couples in a growing relationship with Christ say their love has increased over the years--not decreased! So, if you are in your 20s, are planning to be married, are worried that you do not feel attracted enough to each other, and yet you meet the rest of the relationship building criteria, that feeling will change and you will grow fonder of each other!

Many people wonder, and ask, if love, or commitment comes first? The Bible gives us an answer that surprises a lot of people. In Ephesians 5:22-33 the context of this passage indicates "love the one you marry" rather than to "marry the one you love." Thus, romance is often skewed with society’s emphasis on feelings, and not on commitment. So, when the tough times come, romance will not keep you together, only your commitment will. This is a reason that love is also a choice. As a result, I believe commitment will supersede love, and be a good indicator that love is in the mix!

How to know if there is Compatibility:

It is essential that, in building an effective relationship, the two of you discover the personality, character traits, likes, and dislikes, moods, ambitions, and such, about each other. The best way to do this is go to a qualified and trained pastoral counselor who can give you a personality test/inventory. My personal favorite test is called the “Myers-Briggs.” Or, use a similar inventory. Then a good trained counselor can sit down with the two of you and go over the results and the possible conflicts that may develop. That way you are prepared, and know ahead of time what to expect. This will solve many relational problems that may crop up in the future.

To get a taste of this there are two great places on the web to check out your compatibility to each other: eharmony.com and www.assess-yourself.org.

Here are some things to consider in knowing yourself and your partners personality traits.

Make sure you or they do not have:

Loneliness, Emotional or Spiritual Emptiness: I have said this a lot, because in over 20 years of experience, I see this as one of the biggest problems with single Christians. They are looking for a mate because they feel empty and lonely! A relationship will not help you, as you will trade one set of problems for a bigger set! No one can fill that void except by what Christ has done. So, what do I do when I feel I am right with God and I still feel empty? Do something about it! Make friends. Go out on group dates for friendship, get to know people, and pray. Only Jesus can truly fulfill you in every way. If you have an emotional dependency on anyone or anything other than God, you will live a very bitter and depressing life!

Unfinished emotional issues: This includes child abuse, past broken relationships, dysfunctional family, and such. In addition, self esteem problems and psychological disorders like depression need to be addressed. These do not necessarily disqualify someone, but you have to “get your act together,” and be aware and willing to work things out in yourself! If not, you will carry them into marriage, and these problems will continue to be abusive! Both of you have to be willing to be vulnerable, communicate, trust, be willing to share your emotions, and be mature to make a long-term relationship work! Manipulative, prideful, and arrogant people are toxic. Stay away from them!

Problems with Anger: Anger will be overwhelming and cannot be quenched in a relationship. They or you must seek professional or pastoral help to dig to the root of the issue and solve it before a relationship can take place. If not, it may lie in wait under the surface, and then spring up out of control to kill and destroy!

Victim-Blame mentality: This is also a very dangerous mindset, as the person will not be able to take responsibility, and will be always blaming you and others for their circumstances. They consider themselves a victim and are unable to rise above it, with blaming, and lists of “if, If, if...” (You need to especially be aware of this if either of you come from an alcoholic home.) Change will only be a temporary remedy, and soon the pattern will come back. You will not be able to seriously develop intimacy or a good relationship with them unless they get help and eliminate this mindset

!

Fear of intimacy: If you come from a divorced family, or from being abused, or perhaps, if your parents were sparing with love and affection, or have passed away, you may fear getting close to someone else. You may associate intimacy with loss, trauma, abuse, or lack of affection.

Fear of leaving a relationship: If you do not want to leave because you fear hurting them or yourself, being devastated, or perhaps of guilt, you may stay in a relationship that is not meant to be. Be willing to make hard decisions based on facts, God’s Word, good advice, quality assessments, counseling, time, and communication. Just one area may be enough, or not enough, since each situation is different. Yes, you will hurt. If not, you would not be human. However, it is better to hurt a little that go into a bad relationship that may last for a long time.

Looking for a parent and not a spouse: If you are looking for someone to take care of you, or to fill a need, remember only God can do that. Another person can never fill that hole! You are looking for a partner, not a parent!

Addictions: If you or your potential partner suffers from any type of addiction (sexual, chemical…) they, or you, will not be able to fully invest in this relationship because of the distraction of the addiction. Your investment will be mostly wasted.

Repeating bad patterns: If you, or your potential mate, come from a home of abuse (sexual, drugs, alcohol, physical, emotional or verbal), even if there is physical freedom of it, the emotional scars will remain, and the likelihood or replication is high. Of course, God can heal, but you, too, must be aware of it, and work it out (Phil. 2)! Being from an abusive situation certainly does not disqualify someone, but if the attitude remains, consider this a “red flag.“ The refusal to acknowledge it and seek healing and counseling is extremely detrimental.

Pressure: Too much pressure from family, loneliness, your getting older, looking for a change, sexual desire, church, or friends who are getting married, can cause you to make bad choices or force you into something that is not meant. These can cause you to skip important selection and relational building time. These issues can deceive you to look where you should not, or select who you should not! Ask, “How can I glorify God? What contributes to my spiritual growth, emotional health, and maturity?”

Seeking change: Do not think you can change someone when you get married. It never works!

Seeking Stability: Finding stability, or a certain lifestyle, is not bad in itself, but if that is your prime motivation, it will cloud the relational knowing and building process! You will end up in a very shallow relationship!

Rebellious undertones. Are you choosing someone just to be rebellious? Most people, if not all of us, have a rebellious nature (and we all have that because of our sinful nature) and a desire to get back at someone, such as anger with one’s parents. Make sure you are not using this, or being used, for such a purpose in courting and marriage! Also, do not merely seek someone because they are different (perhaps to tick your parents off) in ways such as race, social status, from a different county, or just new to you, as that will wear off quickly. Differences are OK, as long as there is sufficient compatibility. Do not be so open minded that your brains fall out!

Putting the cart in front of the horse: Are you seeking commitment before you learn that you are compatible? Are you rushing things, tired of the dating games, or seeking change or any reason that will speed up the processes of building a relationship? This is fun to watch in movies such as “Fools Rush In.” However, in real life, it is extremely detrimental, and it rarely, if ever, works out! A good relationship will take a couple of years, at least, before a commitment should be sought!

Blinded by lust and desire! Lust will hide compatibility issues, as it is built on a foundation of quicksand and not the rock of truth!

There is not too much of an age difference. The two of you will have too little in common! Maturity, likes, dislikes, energy, outlook, plans… 10 years should be the limit.

Bad potential in-laws: If you ever seen the TV show “Everybody Loves Raymond,” you will know how toxic some in-laws can be! It is funny on TV, but not in real life! One spouse may take sides, and drag the other into conflict. Boundaries must be established and kept. If not, in-laws with dysfunctional personalities will destroy your relationship. Also, make sure you do not repeat the bad patterns of your parents!

What about long distance relationships? Forget it. You cannot build intimacy long distance, and the relationship will stay superficial. Put it on hold until the two of you can be together. One exception would be if it were for a specific length of time, such as a short mission trip, or a temporary job assignment.

Most of these compatibility flaws can be worked out with a good counselor, or a pastor who is trained and experienced. Rather than impossible barriers, they are red flags warning of potential problems. No person will be perfect, but both of you have to be willing to work things out. Trust, share from the heart, be honest, and seek the truth about yourself and your potential spouse. If you do not, these potential problems will turn into war and cause bitterness and strife that will eventually destroy your relationship. Your only chance for a good relationship is to face facts, work them out, and build on the positive with each other and though prayer. Ignoring these will only allow them to fester in the future. You must be willing to conquer and eliminate them!

Make sure that you are:

Asking Questions! Ask the hard questions to yourself and your potential mate! We often try to avoid these because we are afraid to offend, to lose them, or we are too involved in the romance. Remember, love is blind-false love that is! Your call is to seek knowledge of each other, as this builds a real relationship. You do this by not holding back your natural curiosity. Passion is good as God designed it, but we will misuse it when we allow it to hide the truth and the growth that comes from asking and leaning all we can about each other. Be open and honest with feelings and questions, and do not be afraid to ask and to respond. This is fun, this is building, and this is exciting, as you are getting to know each other! If you do not ask and respond, you will not grow or learn. You will think that you are in a castle in fairyland, soon to wake up and find yourself in the dungeon of despair.

Ask questions such as: Do they have addictions (drugs, alcohol, smoking, food, sex, pornography, etc.), debt and spending problems, anger problems, emotional Instability, control freaks, obsessive/compulsiveness, manipulative, selfish, uncaring, over compromising, or any psychological issues, all the things we listed above. What are their goals, aspirations, desires? What is their relationship with Christ, and where is it going, etc. Do not say you like something when you do not, thinking you will please them. This will, in fact, set you up for disappointment instead!

1. Do you care more about your potential mate than they do about you, or visa versa?

2. Are you in love with what your potential mate can be, or who they are?

3. Do you share common life purposes and goals?

4. Is one of you on a rescue mission to do a “make over” on the other? Are you trying to “fix” them? Do you have more sympathy than love?

5. Are you projecting your desires and needs, or are you being honest on your evaluations?

6. What have you learned from past relationships, and how have you changed?

7. Do you feel safe expressing your feelings and thoughts with this person?

8. What are your weakness and strengths? How do you plan to overcome your weaknesses and grow in your strengths?

9. Are you attracted to just a feature, such as eyes, or a body part? Remember, those things change quickly. Make sure your attraction is based on character, and not lust!

10. Are you being honest about yourself to your potential mate?

11. Remember love is blind! --False love, that is--so make sure you open your eyes with Scripture and good judgment!

12. How do you handle crises and stress?

13. Does your potential mate enjoy giving to others, or is he/she so wrapped up in themselves, and self-absorbed, they do not care?

14. What do you not like about yourself? How would you want to change it?

15. Is your partner a role model, so that you idolize him/her? Is your confidence based on them, and not who you are in Christ? If so, this can be a problem in the future when reality sets in.

16. Do you have compatibility in more that one area? The more areas of likeness, the better the relationship will be. Yes, we need our potential mate to fill in some of our gaps and complement us; however, opposites that attract at first may later on repel intensely!

17. Is your relationship one sided, where one of you is contributing the most, and the other just feeding of it?

18. Does he/she gossip and speak badly about others? If so, they will probably do the same about you and your family.

19. What do you want to change about yourself in the next 5 to 10 years, to grow in maturity and faith?

20. How does he/she treat other people, including strangers, and especially, their family?

21. Are prayer and spiritual growth driving forces in his/her life?

22. Does he/she have gratitude, respect, and appreciation for God and others?

23. Are you hoping to change anything about this person after you are married? If so, remember, you will not be able to!

Here are more helpful things to consider:

Not just infatuation: Do not just be attracted to good looks or a personality. Seek character! The verse, Prov. 31:30, applies to both men and women!

Get good pre-marriage counseling! Do this when you become engaged. Even professional marriage counselors and pastors have to do this!

Seek to bring something into the relationship, not take something out! Seek to nurture and care by “bringing” them, not just trying to “get” them!

Do not be afraid to break it off. Do not be afraid to invest the time or to risk being hurt. But, as you follow the precepts of courting, you will learn much more, and faster, and be able to weed out the riffraff before too much emotional investment is made, thus, your hurt will be a lot less!

Do not choose someone as a reaction to a breakup. Rebound relationships will rarely work out, because all the selection criteria we may normally have will be dumped out the window. Guard against seeking someone just like the person with whom you broke up, as there were reasons for that break up that will be repeated!

Do not look for the opposite of you. Yes, we need to find someone to complement, or complete us. However, we have to have more in common than in difference.

Never consider a serious relationship with a non-Christian! (2 Cor. 6:14) It may work for a while, but when children come into the family, this becomes a major problem. These relationships never work out!

Do not play games with the feelings and emotions of each other, or with truth! Do I really need to explain this? Remember Christian character must be your driving force!

Do not seek the potential mate of someone else. Do not seek someone who is married or in another relationship. You can rationalize it all you want, but no matter how you may look at it, it is wrong. Wait until this person is available, or move on to someone else!

Do not try to court more that one person at a time. Yes, this may seem like fun, to be “a player,” as some would say, but it is very distracting. People want to be treated as special. How can you do that by “playing the field?” In addition, put some time between relationships. Do not feel you have to be in a relationship to be whole!

Do not get married for the wrong reasons! Examples might be pregnancy (25% of marriages are in this category!! They rarely work out!), rebounding, guilt, pity, escape, social pressure…and so on.

Bad personality flaws! Besides what we have already discussed, control oriented people can devastate a marriage or create a codependency atmosphere. People who are prideful, judgmental, arrogant, condescending, always having to have their own way and be in control will not build a healthy relationship of intimacy!

Financial irresponsibility: Most marriage conflicts center on money, not the lack of it, but how it is handled! Make sure you both have a budget and can stick to it. If not, you will be doomed! There are too many good resources out there, especially from ‘Crown Financial’ www.crown.org, to experience a problem in this area!

Differing backgrounds: If the two of you come from different social and economic backgrounds, you must be willing to understand each other, listen, and compromise. This is also true if you have different educational backgrounds. The higher educated one will tend to be controlling and condescending. You must be willing to stop, and recognize the worth and value of each other.

Sexual performance problems or barrenness: A good marriage can be built when a man cannot perform or the women cannot give birth. However, these can be mountainous obstacles to overcome. Think it through--not how you feel and are now, but how you may feel in five or ten years! So have you recovered and have learned from your past relationships! If you have not learned and grown, you will repeat and make the same mistakes all over again!

So what do I need to be doing?

In your search for the love of your life, you need to have the right mindset in the Biblical precepts of which we have been talking. We must be in tune with God’s call and Will, and not just with our desires and needs. That does not mean we completely throw out what we want, but making sure that what we want complies with God’s standards, which is best for us!

· Look for good character traits and not just good personality. Personality is important, but character is essential!

· Make sure you both are committed to personal and spiritual growth! You are committed to learn and better yourself by leaning on the Word and growing in the faith. You are a teachable person, willing to receive correction and to listen, even if it hurts your perceptions and pride!

· Be sure you both have a positive outlook on life and God is working in you!

· Be aware of each other’s character flaws, past failures, and past emotional baggage, and be willing and able to fix them!

· Be willing to be open and honest, and willing to express feelings about each other, your desires, aspirations, and plans for yourself and for your partner. This will build communication and trust! If you cannot express yourself, then get help. Otherwise, it will only escalate from bad to worse. You cannot gain anything by lying or playing games!

· Make sure your self-esteem is based on who you are in Christ and nowhere else such as job, money, appearance, friends, power, or position!

· Make sure you understand the thought processes of each other as a male and as a female and the differences between the sexes.

· Make sure you both are responsible and mature enough to be in a long- term relationship leading into marriage. Do you keep promises and respect one another, are you willing to share possessions and resources and allow for boundaries? Are the Fruits of the Spirit exhibited in the two of you? Can you live on your own and manage a household on your own? Can you budget, manage money, and support yourself? Do not expect the other to be the adult!

· Know where the areas of sensitivity are for each other with regard to feelings and “buttons.”

· Know the concept and practice of time for each other. Are you always on time, or always late? Be respectful and plan accordingly for the flaws in each other in this area, and be willing to grow to understand and respect each other.

· Know the areas of being irresponsible in each other, such as with finances, health, returning phone calls, or not feeding the cat. Then, be willing to grow by becoming more responsible.

· Be understanding and aware of spiritual warfare. Satan desires you to fail, so protect yourself in prayer and accountability.

It is my sincere prayer that you are in a solid, growing, Christ-centered relationship! Too many Christians have given up on godly values and caved in to desperation and desire when it comes to dating. They just want someone. Because of this, they do not seem to care who they get, as long as it is a warm body. I have seen this cycle over and over for years and years, and people just do not seem to learn, or else just do not want to get it. Then they end up in dysfunctional relationships and pass those dysfunctions on to their children, and the cycle goes on and on! Marriages could be so much more wonderful, so romantic and solid, if only God’s values and precepts were brought into it. Do not let yourself become a statistic, imprisoned in a world of stifle and chaos, when God has such a better plan for you.

Seek Him, and He will provide. Seek yourself, and you will be sad and lonely in so many ways!

Richard Joseph Krejcir is the Director of ‘Into Thy Word Ministries, ’a discipling ministry. He is the author of the book, Into Thy Word and is also a pastor, teacher, speaker and a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena California. He has amounted over 20 years of pastoral ministry experience, mostly in youth ministry, including serving as a church growth consultant. richard@intothyword.com

My Meekness Is Not Weakness by Mike Ramey

The Homosexual lobby has been quite busy in the brainwashing department.

They--who are without Jesus Christ--are at best ‘Stuck--on Stupid’. What really makes this tragic is that there are some Christians who are claiming that it's OK to be 'gay'. Unfortunately, they need to read the KJV Bible--the version that does not 'water down' what happened at a place called Sodom a few thousand years ago.

But, I digress.

Sure, we can look at the scorecard. Every major television show has at least one writer of that persuasion, and many of the same shows have at least one gay character written into the script. In the west, we have men trying to marry men, and women trying to marry women. In the east, we have courts forgetting to read their Constitutions, and going with the ‘whim’ of ‘feeling their way’ through the social swamps and quicksand pits of our modern times. In the church, those who stress ‘unity’ over ‘doctrine’ have large congregations and great news clips on the local six o‘clock news, but NO connection to the Lord of Lords, and King of Kings.

Now, I’m not going to ‘soft soap’ this issue.

Homosexuality is wrong, period.

Homosexuality is an abomination, period.

Homosexuality cuts one’s lifespan in half, period.

Homosexuality for men or women is a death warrant, period.

And, while I have your attention, let me put a flag in here for a moment to unspool this little nugget of wisdom. The clamor and charge for ‘same sex’ marriage is being led by female homosexuals (aka lesbians). Think about the pictures on the TV news. Sarah and Sue are arm in arm, heading to the Sperm Bank to ‘build’ a happy ‘family’ with the absence of a father. Of course, we don't see the full picture; those who have had their sperm 'hijacked' will be on the hook for child support. Courts have already ruled on this issue.

That is the ultimate goal of homosexuality…to render manhood a ‘moot’ point. I may be ‘hated’ and criticized for my stand. However, in the words of Bill Murray from the movie “Stripes”: “That’s the facts, Jack!”

What I have noticed among those who claim this ‘lifestyle’ is how intolerant they are towards those who used to partake in this life, but have ‘gone public’ with how they have exited the field, and are determined not to be a part of this ‘mindset’ anymore. What I have also noted is that there is more of a clamor for 'unity' and 'tolerance' from so-called church members (I can't call them Christians, for a true Christian won't side with sin, under ANY circumstances) and their distain for those who cling to the beliefs in the 'old KJV'.

"It's a new day!" Homosexuals and their supporters shout from the rooftops. Unfortunately, when the bills come due, there will be a different 'kind' of 'shouting': That coming from the Hell bound.

The real mark of a man--or woman--is not how they handle themselves in the fields of sunshine and rainbows; but in the fields of storms and thunder. And brother, when a former homosexual decides to ‘break ranks’ there are HOWLS of protest!

Why?

Simply because they know their former group’s playbook. They know the ins, outs, and where all the bodies are buried--including those of the leadership.

Let me provide an example. There was a man named Steve who used to be into the homosexual lifestyle. By his public testimony, he had at least 100 different ‘sex partners’ over the course of his life. Many of his lovers, by Steve’s own admission, died from complications associated with AIDS. Needless to say, each death made Steve do some serious thinking. Little by little, he found that the Bible stand against this lifestyle was true. He believed it, and accepted it. Then he repented of this lifestyle (repenting meaning ‘turning away from it’), was set free by the power of Jesus Christ, and has gone on to marry a beautiful woman, and is now the proud father of several children.

Now, one would think that, with all of the ‘cries’ of ‘free speech’ that we have here in the States, ol’ Steve would have an easy time of carrying his message of a better way to those whom he used to ‘hang’ with on a regular basis.

Nope. No such luck. Not only was he--and does he--continue to be hounded by those in his former lifestyle; there ARE those in his ‘new life’ that treat him as a ‘suspect’. One who has not ‘fully’ come out of where he was. Because he doesn’t ‘scream and holler’ against those in his former life, his stance of ‘meekness’ has been wrongly mistaken for ‘weakness’. Thus, he is perplexed by those on BOTH sides who scratch their heads over ‘why’ this man cannot be ‘typecast’. Nevertheless, he continues to point the way out to those who will listen.

Brothers, when God REALLY gets a hold of your life, meekness is no longer a sought-after commodity, but a desired byproduct. No longer does a man not have to ‘prove’ himself to society’s satisfaction; he can go on to being a better man by modeling his ‘liberation’, rather than focusing upon his ‘past life’.

Homosexuality does MORE to try to turn man into woman far more than those in this lifestyle would like to admit. No longer is a man guided by logic--but by feelings! In fact, if I may be so bold...homosexuality is the best friend that feminists have ever had! It can--overnight--turn a man’s mental state from logic to feelings.

Stop and think about this one--which I have observed at more than a few ‘Gay Pride’ marches that the mainstream media carries on television and in the papers. We see rows upon rows of men marching in the streets, proclaiming their ‘right’ to be ‘different’.

To be blunt, a man doesn’t have to ‘scream and shout’ about being different. His meekness--his ability to impact by character and actions is what causes people to turn around and take notice of his message. And, if you want to get right down to the bottom line, A CHRISTIAN MAN is a different man, because HE lines up with the REALITY of manhood as DEFINED by the BIBLE.

If one wants to truly be radical and ‘different’, why not stop following the crowd, and start following Jesus Christ?

But, I digress--again!

There was a commercial on our airwaves that has become a matter of great satire. A technician is on a cell phone, checking the ‘reach’ of his employer’s signal. He keeps saying: “Can you hear me, now?” As he moves from spot to spot. Satisfied with the quality of the reception, the technician says: “Good,” and moves on to another point in the field to continue his testing. Over the course of time, we see this guy crossing rivers; driving down the road; going from country-to-country. Always the same question/answer exchange. Pretty soon, you get the impression that this guy can pick up the signal anywhere in the world.

That’s the impression that the company WANTS you to remember.

The impression that I want to leave from this issue’s column is that I don’t have to ‘scream and shout’ my views on homosexuality. I know where I stand on the issue, and so do you. Either you agree, or disagree. If you disagree, blast away all that you want, but my God will outlive your whims, whines, protests, and parades.

Let’s put this another way. Those who side with those involved in this ‘lifestyle’ will increase their shouting. They will continue to try to become more outlandish and stage even crazier antics. Adopting children and trying to ‘create’ families without women. Getting health care guaranteed for when they contact the diseases that plague this ‘lifestyle’ choice. “Heather Has Two Mommies”, and “Ronald Has Two Daddies“.

Taking to the streets to ‘out’ people who don’t agree with them.

Aaah!, thank God I’m not like I used to be…because God CAN fight ALL my critics, from A to Z. I’ll just smile, provide the logical alternatives, and rest secure in the manhood God has given me. Like the old folks used to say: “If you are an adult, you can do what you want--but don’t expect everyone to like what you do, nor expect me to subsidize your choices.”

Also, in the words of R. G. Lee: “There is a PAYDAY, SOMEDAY!” Based upon what has happened with the U.S. Supreme Court's non-decision concerning sodomite (same sex) marriage, the issue is rapidly speeding America towards judgment in God's court. Already, we've seen the rise of viruses in the sodomite community that have never been seen before. In New York and Los Angeles, as recently as 2013, new viruses--spread only by sexual contact--have been known to kill people in a matter of weeks. the MSM (mainstream media) in our country have been keeping the body count under wraps...but the Internet has been alive with 'chatter'.

If you think that's bad, the Ebola virus has made it to American shores. No known cure, and the government is about to 'freak out' over what has already struct three countries in Africa with dramatic body counts in 2014.

Can you hear me, now?

More importantly: Can you hear the Lord, now?

As I update this piece, I give Jesus Christ the majesty of making this work rise to the top. More than 20,000 hits in more than 8 years on line is nothing short of the Lord's doing. This piece has been updated in light of new court decisions, and new information...but the outcome is still the same. My stand is still firm.

Still, I'd like to note something for the 'choir'. ALL sin is a stench in the nostrils of a holy God. ALL of us came from somewhere before we became saints. We were YET sinners, and Christ DIED for us. Before you are quick to draw your gun to 'blow away' a sinner, ask yourself the following: "Would YOU get excited IF someone whom you KNEW to be a sinner came to Christ because of something YOU put forth from the scriptures?"

Someone did it for you, oh those many years ago!

RAMEY, a syndicated columnist, Minister and book reviewer, lives in Indianapolis, Indiana. THE RAMEY COMMENTARIES appears on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world. To correspond, email manhoodline@yahoo.com. © 2011, 2014 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International.

'Take Your Burdens To The Lord' by Travis Wiginton

"Take Your Burdens to the Lord...and Leave Them There". Those are the words to an old song ....and another song says, "Burdens Are Lifted at Calvary". Several Scriptures that deal with burdens are: Psalms 55:22: "Give your burdens to the Lord. He will not permit the Godly to slip nor fall." Matthew 11:28-30: "Come unto me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke (get in the harness with Jesus) upon you and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart and you shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I Peter 5:7: "Casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you." In fishing, it takes a lot of 'casting' (fishing)...before 'catching'. So in getting rid of burdens, a lot of praying....and faith brings the 'lifting of burdens'. Let's look at some burdens that we need to take to the Lord and leave with Him. 1) THE BURDEN OF SIN What it can do, if we don't have them lifted through God's forgiveness: Soils the soul...... Saturates the mind...... Strickens the conscience...... Saddens the heart...... Sickens the body...... Sours the spirit...... Seals the lips...... Separates from God.... (separates lost person from relationship and saved person from fellowship) So you see, it would be a sin to take our sins to the Lord and not leave them there. No need to carry around the burden of sin, for I John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." In the Old Testament, God used the sacrifice of animals once a year for the forgiveness of sins. In the New Testament, God used the Cross and the Blood of Jesus for our sins. Hebrews 9:22: "Without the shedding of blood, there is no remission of sin." I like that old song, "There is power in the Blood"....for ANY sin in your life. 2) THE BURDEN OF SALVATION: (If....not the Bible and 'the Jesus Way') If man does the saving through good works, man is fallible and how much work is enough? Therefore, he continues being burdened. So you ask, 'How can you be sure that you are saved?' First: Re-examine your initial experience....was there repentance toward God and faith in Jesus Christ? Acts 20:19-21 Secondly: Was there child-like dependence? Matthew 18:1-4 "Except you be converted and become as little children, you shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven." John 1:13 "As many as received Christ, to them gave He the power to become the sons of God, even to those who believe on His name." This is called a 'miracle' like a birth, hence salvation is called 'The New Birth' (John 3:1-18) I like the chorus of the old song, 'Once for All': "Once for all, o sinner, receive it. Once for all, o brother, believe it. Cling to the Cross, the burdens will fall... Christ has redeemed us, once for all" 3) THE BURDEN OF SECURITY: I believe in the security of the believer for 3 reasons: First: The Scriptures overwhelmingly teach "if saved, always saved". Second: The Great Shepherd Jesus will not lose one of His sheep (John 10 is a great chapter on this) Third: The Spirit within the believer is greater than any power in the world (I John 4:4) Paul said in Acts 20:22, "I go bound in the Holy Spirit". He believed that the Spirit that was able to save him, was also able to keep him. You ask people, 'Are you saved....and ready for life AND death?' Some will say, 'I hope so'....or....'maybe so'. Two Scriptures in Romans 8 speak to this: Verse 16: "The Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we ARE the children of God." Verse 14: "As many as are led by the Spirit of God, these ARE the children of God." 4) A BURDEN BORNE BY MANY (needlessly) IS REGRETS. These are all in the past and the Bible speaks to this in Philippians 3:13-14, "Forgetting those things that are behind, we are reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark, for the prize of the high calling of God, in Christ Jesus." Hebrews 13:8 tells us that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." So let Him take care of your yesterdays. He can take care of these through forgiveness and the power not to repeat! Do something about it...and shape up. Don't spend the rest of your life saying, "Wish I had"...."If I had only"....or..."Why didn't I?" There are many regrets that people have, but let's only list three. 1) PRAYER-LESS-NESS (or not praying more): You can not undo the past lack of prayers, but you can start now. Our youngest son called recently, referring to something that he learned at Youth Camp, wanting to know what ACTSS stood for. He remembered parts of it..... It means: Prayer is ADORATION, CONFESSION, THANKSGIVING, SUPPLICATION and SURRENDER. 2) RELATIONSHIPS: The regrets here are primarily because of lack of communication with family and especially parents. You can't undo this, but start now to do better. To a retired parent or grandparent, nothing is more disheartening than an empty mailbox....or a phone that never rings with calls from children or grandchildren....or others. No one likes to be forgotten! 3) BURDENS: There can be regrets because of burdens that we have placed on others, due to insensitive actions or words. We may 'speak before we think'....and say something that we regret later. Once words are spoken, they cannot be brought back, but an apology is never 'too late' and can have healing power. Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ." Please read the rest of this chapter. One of the definitions of regret in the dictionary is: 'A polite expression of regret as in 'declining an invitation'. We may decline an earthly invitation and regret it, but don't decline your Heavenly Father's invitation! Over 1,900 times in the Bible, God says, 'Come'! So whatever your burden, God says, "Come, bring your burdens to Me and leave them with Me." We could list many more burdens or regrets, but the Holy Spirit will help you to see your's. Then confess, receive forgiveness and press on, in the power of the Holy Spirit. Be sure that you don't 'pick your burdens up again' once you have left them at His feet.

YOU ARE A REWARD TO SOMEBODY

Somebody needs you. You see, everything God created is a reward to somebody. Think about this. It is very important that you grasp your significant and value. Somebody needs exactly what you have been given by God. Somebody is hungry and thirsty for your presence. Somebody will starve without you entering their life. Somebody is literally dying, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, waiting for you to come along and rescue them. Somebody has been lying awake all night praying that God would send you into their life. YOU ARE THEIR REWARD. Now, it is important that you recognize that some people do not really need you. You are not their answer. You are not their solution. Do not take offense at this. God has somebody else planned for them. You are not needed everywhere. You are only needed at a Specific Place, at a Specific Time and for a Specific Person. Now, this person (or people) Qualifies for your entrance into their life. They may not initially see you as being their reward, but you really are. You are EXACTLY what God has ordered for their life. Meditate On This Truth. Taste It. Feel It. 3 IMPORTANT KEYS TO REMEMBER. 1. God Has Qualified You To Be A Perfect Solution To Someone. 2. It Is The Responsibility Of Others To Discern Your Assignment To Them. The Pharisees did not discern that Jesus was assigned to them, but Zaccheus did, and the relationship was born. Even Pharaoh of Egypt, an unbeliever, discerned that Joseph was the answer to his dream and dilemma. Thousands were sick and blind, but one cried out, "Jesus, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me" ( see Mark 10:47). 3. When You Discover To Whom You Have Been Assigned, You Will Experience Great Peace, Fulfillment, And Provision For Your Own Life. You must determine and know well the anointing and calling on your own life. Stand strong, and stay linked to the Holy Spirit in TOTAL dependency, and God will direct you. Look for opportunities to heal, strengthen, and bless others. Do good every time it is possible. "Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it" ( Proverbs 3:27). YOU ARE TRULY A GIFT AND REWARD TO THOSE TO WHOM YOU ARE ASSIGNED. (Adapted from "THE ASSIGNMENT: The Dream & The Destiny by Mike Murdock) Please LIKE and SHARE. (Are you confused concerning your life, experiencing stagnancy, failure or disappointment? You need a shoulder to lean on, or support. Feel free to contact me for Prayer or counseling. Drop a message on this page and I'll reply ASAP) Shalom! Are you blessed? LIKE and SHARE.